By Del Moon, NSGA Storyteller

Monique Wilson, 61
Redondo Beach, California

Photo courtesy Monique Wilson.

Any parent will tell you that losing a child is one of the most difficult tragedies to overcome. Finding a pathway to return to everyday life is complex and can bring depression and other health issues.

Monique Wilson’s family was devastated when her son Erik died suddenly at age 29 after he took what he thought was medicine, but it was laced with fentanyl. The schoolteacher took the rest of the school year off and ultimately retired to allow herself to heal. However, Monique still lacked a direction to help her move forward.

A phone call from an old friend she had played volleyball with provided a ray of light, and that has led to a revived passion for volleyball and eventually to the 2023 National Senior Games presented by Humana. People might think going to play games would not be more than a distraction from grief. But, Monique found purpose and a team of women who supported and helped her get back on the court as a senior athlete and start enjoying life again.

In the following poignant edited interview, Monique shares her journey through a nightmare and how participating in sports has carried her to a new perspective and a forward-facing outlook. As expected, she says things will never be the same, but the tragedy no longer keeps her from living her best life.

As we talked, it was clear that it was very difficult for Monique to share details of her experience. She agreed to the interview because she had herself sought out stories of other mothers who lost a child on the Internet. These stories showed her that her feelings and emotions were normal, and now she wants her story told with the hope that it will help someone else in a similar situation.

Overcoming the challenges and obstacles everyone faces with a positive outlook and by pursuing a healthy and active lifestyle is a huge characteristic of living your Personal Best. Senior Games often provide a way for people to remake or improve their quality and duration of life, and we’re grateful that Monique Wilson has found a caring family and a meaningful activity with new friends.

Monique, thanks for agreeing to share your story with us. Let’s get some background. Were you always athletic and was volleyball your main sport?
Yes, my parents were more into the arts, but I was the only one out of seven kids that went into sports and athletics.

I did play volleyball. I’m tall, so when I was young, probably around the eighth grade, there were some PE teachers and coaches at the high school that saw the tall girl always playing sports on the playground, and they started recruiting me. They could see that I was athletic as well as tall, and I do have a competitive spirit. Straight out of Central Casting. [Laugh]

Did you play in college?
I did go to college, and I was offered to play but chose not to. I wanted to just get into the college scene, so that’s probably not a very good quote, but I played intramural volleyball and other sports.

I met my husband, Brad, when I was 17. I was a senior in high school. He was two years out at 19. He was an athlete, too, and played football, baseball and volleyball. He doesn’t play Senior Games, however. He has some knee and shoulder issues that prevents him from playing some sports, but he does kickboxing almost every day.

How many children did you have, and did you promote sports to them?
I had two children. We introduced both our kids to all the sports when they were young, and then they picked a few as they got older.

My daughter, Danielle, played sports through high school and college. She played volleyball and softball. She’s currently 37. My son Erik played football, baseball and golf. His goal was to letter in as many sports as he could. He ended up playing football for the University of Washington.

Erik played for Coach Steve Sarkisian. He was on the team for four years, most of the time as the quarterback for the scout team.

Right to left: Monique, Erik (son), Brad (husband), Danielle (daughter), Colton (son-in-law). Photo courtesy Monique Wilson.

That’s a big job because you have to mimic the opponent’s quarterback each week, and you also get beat up.
Oh, yeah. The defense is going hard, so there was no letting up. He did suffer some concussions. He also suffered a knee injury and had a back issue. But he loved it. [Pause] It rocked our world when he passed away at only 29.

That’s tragic, Monique. We are so sorry for your loss. What happened, if you don’t mind sharing?
It was traumatic. He had just broken up with a girlfriend and moved home. Because of COVID, he had nowhere else to go.

He had just got a new job and was preparing to start the following week. And then Monday morning, we found him in his room. He had taken half a pill that looked like Xanax, but unfortunately, was laced with fentanyl. It was determined that he died immediately after taking it.

That is horrific. So many people have suffered because of that drug. Of course you were devastated to lose your son.
Our whole family spiraled into this tailspin of overwhelming grief. My daughter and son were very, very close. In fact, she and her husband were with him the night before he died. It definitely rocked our world, and we experienced all the grieving you would expect. We couldn’t eat, we couldn’t sleep and we gave up on exercise.

Monique with her 2019-2020 class. Photo courtesy Monique Wilson.

How did you finally start to feel coming out of it?
Well, we still grieve. After the funeral, I thought I’d go back to teaching to get my mind off of things. He died in April, so I took the rest of the school year off. I went back in August, and then my mother passed away a month into the new school year. She was 94 years old and ailing so it was expected, but still, this made things more difficult.

I spiraled again, and one day, I collapsed. I always had low blood pressure and a low heart rate, but it got dangerously low, because I wasn’t eating or exercising properly. I wasn’t living my normal life like before. I ended up in the hospital. My blood pressure and my heart rate dropped so drastically low that I now have to take medication to keep everything working properly. Now they’re saying I need to get a pacemaker.

That had to be your lowest point. How did you pull out of it?
It started with the kindness of my workmates. I was a schoolteacher and taught mostly fourth grade for my entire career. After I had collapsed, the teachers at work were generous and donated their sick days to get me through the rest of the year, so I could continue to heal. I ended up retiring because they happened to be offering a golden handshake at that same time. At this point, I was still kind of moping around, not really getting back to my old self.

Now, that was when Senior Games changed your trajectory, right?
Yes. A girlfriend who I used to play volleyball with called me and told me she is playing in an open gym league down in Orange County. She said, ‘I think you should play- it would be really fun.’ I was so reluctant and didn’t want to go down there. But then my husband said, ‘No, you need to go. You need to go.’ So I went down there and I ended up playing horribly. They played five games that day, and I could barely get through three. I was out of breath; my knee and lower back were hurting. I literally had to step off the court.

But it was definitely an eye-opening experience. I woke up the next morning thinking, ‘What the heck has happened to me? I need to start working out again.’ I began lifting weights and getting out to walk again. I was so sore, but just started to build from there.

My girlfriend got into pickleball and quit volleyball, so I thought I wasn’t going to be able to play in Orange County anymore. I didn’t really know any of these girls, but my husband encouraged me again, saying, “Just go by yourself. Who cares?’ So, one morning, I got dressed and went down there, and it opened up a whole new world. These ladies were just so nice. They didn’t know my story but were so encouraging and wanted me to come back and play.

Then, one of them called me and asked me to play on her Senior Games team. I had no idea this even existed. but it looked like something I might want to do, so I went to a tournament in Sonoma. I didn’t play great, but we did win the gold.

From there, I started lifting more weights, walking more and doing jump squats, and I got myself back in shape. We started playing more tournaments together. And now we play almost every month.

Monique and her teammates at the 2023 National Senior Games presented by Humana. Photo courtesy Monique Wilson.

You played in your first National Senior Games in Pittsburgh in 2023, less than three years after the tragedy. How surprised are you that going out and playing a game is what was going to heal you?
100% surprised. And the healing is not over, I will always grieve for Erik. When I went to my first games in Sonoma, I needed my own hotel room because I literally went to my room every night and cried because it was the first time away from my family.

But my gosh, these girls helped me. They are amazing. It’s great to be involved in a team sport because the camaraderie on and off the court and the relationships are unbelievable. That’s what saved my life. When you play on a team, you get close fast when you’re staying in the same place. Soon everyone learned my story and these women have all been incredibly supportive.

Now, if I hit a ball and get a kill someone will shout, ‘There’s an Erik Wilson hit!’

What would you tell someone else who’s reading this and going through a similar kind of tragic situation?
When I was going through the worst of my grief, I would search and read other people’s stories online. Before I knew it, my feed was filled with these kinds of stories.

It made me feel like I wasn’t alone. And it gave me some inspiration to wake up and keep moving every day. I hope that people will read my story and know that they aren’t alone, too.

I’ve learned that you have to give yourself grace. I am not always going to have upbeat, perfect days. I still have periods of time to this day where these waves of grief take over, and I just cry. Reading other people’s stories taught me that it is completely normal.

Well, now you have something to look forward to, and you’ve got volleyball sisters who are helping you through a new journey. You’re going to be doing this for a long time, right?
Yes, that’s the goal. As long as I can stay in shape. It’s funny because when I went to my first tournament, I looked around the room and thought wow, there’s a bunch of old people. [Laugh] And I’m one of them. Then I quickly saw that these ladies are amazing athletes. It’s eye-opening to see the 80-year-old teams play.

Once, when I came home from a tournament, I told my husband, ‘Don’t let the gray hair fool you.’ Because these ladies are great athletes. I want to keep on playing until I can’t, that’s literally my goal now. I want to be that 80-plus person still playing and moving on the court.

Monique, we know this has been difficult to recount, but you know how much sharing your story may help somebody else, and we are proud to have you in our family.
Well, thanks for that. Like I said, other stories have inspired me, so it’s important to share mine.

By Del Moon, NSGA Storyteller

Luigi Fabbri, 89
Eva Fabbri, 82
Lake Worth, Florida

Gabriella Fabbri, 60
Riviera Beach, Florida

The Fabbri family at the 2023 National Senior Games presented by Humana. Right to left: Luigi Fabbri, Eva Fabbri, Gabriella Fabbri and Phillippe Mailleaux. Photo courtesy Gabriella Fabbri.

Those who know Italian-born Luigi Fabbri will agree that cycling is at the heart of his being. He has been competing and raking in medals and championships internationally for 45 years, and he is still hungry for more at 89 years young.

Luigi also has a greater passion – his family. The evidence is that he took a two-decade pause midway in his racing career to work and support his family, but the wheels were always spinning in his head. Cycling is also rooted in the family with Luigi’s wife, Eva, racing on velodrome tracks in many countries and having a Pan American Games championship in her accomplishments.

Luigi was grateful to find Senior Games when he brought the family to Florida from Uruguay, and he has been a fixture at the Florida Senior Games qualifiers and at National Senior Games since 1997. Luigi was honored with a Florida Senior Games Lifetime Achievement Award in 2021 for his state participation. Other athletes delight in just listening to his thick accent and dry wit.

Now, a new Fabbri generation is rising as their daughter, Gabriella, took up Luigi’s suggestion and pedaled her first competitive 5K and 10K time trials at the 2022 National Senior Games presented by Humana in Fort Lauderdale. Then, she added the 20K road race for her second Nationals in Pittsburgh last year.

As you will discover in the following Personal Best conversation with the three Fabbris, Gabriella caught the fever from dad and “recruited” her husband, Belgian-born Phillippe Mailleaux, to also enter the field in 2023. Gabriella’s twin brother, Renzo, and sister, Anissa, have also raced, and the elders are proud to see their granddaughter, Anyssa, hop in the saddle to ride with the wind hoping to be the next Fabbri champion.

Our chat reveals Luigi’s colorful history as he recalls how his family escaped from Italy to avoid political persecution and ended up in Uruguay, where Luigi met Eva and started his cycling adventures. Then we learn about the Fabbri’s transition to America, where Luigi continued his work as a craftsman restoring vintage furniture in a workshop he built. He only recently retired but maintains a regimen of riding 20 miles at Okeeheelee Park in West Palm Beach almost every day.

Luigi now enjoys the health benefits from his fitness, sharing with us publicly for the first time that he has battled and contained Parkinson’s disease in recent years and that he feels good about continuing as he approaches 90. He often hears he is an inspiration, but the fire to compete has not subsided and he is excited to have a lane where he can still ride and compete with his peers. His passion is tempered with caution as when he encourages others to safely train and compete in cycling. While he has had many falls, he has yet to break a bone and does his best to advise others on safe racing.

He wasn’t thinking about it all along, but when Luigi clipped onto a bike in 1952 he set a legacy in motion that will continue through generations. We’re glad to have the Fabbri family among our ranks to show how much a Personal Best attitude can positively influence others. For that, Luigi deserves our whole-hearted “Grazie!”

Luigi, it’s great to speak with you and your family. You’ve been cycling in the Florida Senior Games for nearly 30 years since you moved here. How long have you been competing?
I have been cycling for a long time! I had to take a break to work and support my family during my life, but I have 45 years as a competitor.

You have been all over the world, and you are an Italian native who came to us through Uruguay. Tell us how you got here!
I was born in Rome during the war time. The only thing that was interesting when I was about 8 years old was the radio. And the radio was transmitting bicycle races. I liked the way they transmitted. They gave me a lot of…I don’t know how to explain, but…the radio made an impression on me and I got interested in racing.

My father was a political man. He fought against Mussolini, and they wanted to kill him. We had to flee Italy and went to France. In France he had the same problem, so we went to Argentina. He still had some problems, so we moved to Uruguay where we felt safe. I was in Uruguay for 20 years.

I used to work for a decorator as a craftsman. I did a lot of antique restoration. At one time my father was a restorer in the Museum of the Vatican. Sometimes we restored, and many times we made a copy. They would say, ‘Look, Luigi, I need a cabinet this size for a Louis XIV room.’ So…we make the cabinet.

But I didn’t want to work with my father and looked for other things to do. I bought a camera – a Leica, very good camera – and I worked as a photographer.

Snapshots from Luigi’s early racing days. Photos courtesy Fabbri family.

Did you start racing while you were working?
I raced for about 20 years when I was younger and I did well. Then I stopped because there was no money in the races, and I needed money because I was married, I had kids. Then I had a big crash and I gave up.

That brings in your wife Eva, who has a cycling history herself. Eva, how did you two meet?
Luigi used to live close to my older sister’s house. It was my 15th birthday, and you know the Spanish people celebrate with a quinceañera for girls. I have Italian ancestry but was born in Uruguay.

So I needed a photographer, and my sister talked to him because he was a photographer at the time. So he took my pictures. The rest is history.

Eva, you did some racing back then. Luigi must have inspired you.
EVA:
Well, it really wasn’t Luigi telling me to do it. I went to Italy with him to visit one of his teammates from Uruguay who lived on a mountain. His wife and I went all the way down to the town and back – she was impressed that I didn’t use a cane, and I didn’t stop to sit. So, she told me, ‘You have to race.’ I said, ‘I’m too old, I never raced in my life.’ But I tried and I like to ride the bike. I competed in Italy, in Ecuador, and I competed in Argentina in the velodrome. I like velodrome a lot.

LUIGI:
She won a Pan American championship while we were in Ecuador.

EVA:
Luigi was a world champion, a world record holder. He was a nominee to compete for Uruguay in the 1964 Olympics in Rome. But then the Uruguay federation didn’t have enough money to send cyclists.

Eva and Luigi on the medal stand over the years. Photos courtesy Fabbri family.

Wow, Luigi, it must have been tough to have to quit to support your family. But then you moved to Florida and started all over again. How did you get back on the bike?
LUIGI:
When I reached 50, I decided to do some exercise. And I was looking for a place and a group of cyclists to practice with, because it’s very dangerous to practice on the streets in Florida.

I found a velodrome near us to practice with others. I started beating people 20 years younger. I was impressed by what I was able to do and decided to race again. I rode on an old bike. I disassembled it and reassembled it the way I was thinking to make it my own track bike. And in a year or so, I was one of the fastest sprinters. I competed in the Pan American Games and won a sprint. And from that, I started racing all over the world again. I raced in England, Portugal, Italy and other places.

And you have been a fixture in National Senior Games since 1997. Eva has joined you for several Games, and in 2023 we saw a new Fabbri generation hop on. Gabriella, your parents say you didn’t start sooner because you are a workaholic.

Gabriella gets a hand with cycling training from her dad, Luigi. Photo courtesy Gabriella Fabbri.

GABRIELLA:
Yeah, unfortunately I am, but you know what? I inherited that. Both of my parents are workaholics. [Laugh]

Dad encouraged me and bought me a bike for my birthday. At the beginning, he trained me, and that’s when I did my best. It was like a bonding moment for us. Then he stopped training me because my schedule as a flight attendant was so messed up. I did much better when he trained me than when I was on my own.

I didn’t have any expectations, and it wasn’t something that I thought of doing. But once I started I enjoyed it. And I’m like, ‘I should have done this a long time ago.’

LUIGI:
I feel proud of her because she works a lot and has little time to practice. I don’t care if she wins or she becomes the last one in. As long as she doesn’t expect more than what she can do.

EVA:
I love that she’s doing it because it’s not only going to help with her health, but she’s also following in her father’s steps.

We’re always happy to see generations get involved in Senior Games. Gabriella, you competed in your first time trials in 2022, and there’s more to the story because your husband Phillippe also competed in cycling in 2023. How did he get involved?
GABRIELLA:
Well, I just went out and bought him a bike, and he had no choice. [Laugh]

At first, he’s like, ‘I’m not doing this.’ And I’m like, ‘But you’ll like it. I used to say the same thing.’ Now he trains more than I do, actually. I don’t have the time now to get into the road racing much. I like the time trials.

EVA:
Me too. I always race in time trial because I don’t have a lot of road experience. And I’m afraid to be in a group and make somebody fall. So, I always race just by myself.

Cycling road races do have more risk than time trials. It’s best to know your lane and be careful. I’m sure Luigi has had some spills in his racing career.
LUIGI:
Cycling is a dangerous sport. You have to prepare well. I have crashed over 40 times, but I have not broken any bones! I’m very careful. I like to race in front, between the first 10 people. Usually, it’s more safe.

Have any of your other children raced bikes?
EVA:
Yes. When we first came to the U.S. in 1974, we lived in Massachusetts, and Gabriella’s twin brother, Renzo, and our daughter, Anissa, entered a race and we watched them win. So everybody in the family is on the bike except Adriana. Adriana is not a sport person but supports us.

In Pittsburgh we had the whole family including grandchildren come to celebrate. It was beautiful, beautiful. Our granddaughter, Anyssa, was there and she is racing now, so we have four generations of cyclists. For me, the family is number one. And anything that we can do with the family, for me, is very enjoyable.

Obviously, cycling is a huge part of Luigi’s identity, but he had to set it aside for 20 years to support his family, which must have been hard. We can assume that family is even more important than cycling to Luigi.
GABRIELLA:
Well, maybe! [Laugh]

So Luigi, you are 89 as we speak and you don’t seem to be slowing down. You still ride 20 miles every day. There’s no doubt this keeps you in good shape. Besides your obvious love for the sport, is that why you do this now?

Luigi Fabbri cycling in the 20K Road Race at the 2023 National Senior Games presented by Humana.

LUIGI:
Yes, that’s why. There is one reason nobody knows, but I’m going to tell you. I found out I have Parkinson’s six years ago. The doctor told me to do some exercise, because it’s good to keep the Parkinson’s away. I started practicing harder. I don’t trust just the medicine. But by practicing hard I don’t feel to be worse now. On the contrary, I feel better.

EVA:
I’ve been telling him he had Parkinson’s for like 12 years. But he’s very stubborn and would not accept it. It took him some time to realize that there was something in there, but he’s keeping it under control through his intense exercise.

I worked many years with people with Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, so I have an idea how this disease progresses. He really hasn’t progressed that much, which is good.

LUIGI:
I feel strong, and I still race to win. I understand that with some people it’s not important to win. You don’t have to be there to try to win the medals. I like to win, but I’m also competing against myself and against my best time.

How do you feel about being a role model to these other athletes? They love you!
LUIGI:
I feel it’s something I have to keep doing because everybody tells me, ‘Luigi, you are my inspiration.’ So many people are looking at me. But I do this for myself first, not for other people. I don’t care about anybody else around me. I’m doing what I’m doing. I’m staying healthy.

You have to do it for yourself, because it’s not easy. And that’s what I try to tell people.